SKU: 3442768394

If Only I'd Known!

Sale price$16.20 Regular price$18.00
Save 10%

Shipping Estimate
USA
  • USA
  • CAN

Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 12 - Jul 17

Promo Codes Available:

For Your Every Summer RSVP, with Code: SUMMER15

Description

If Only I'd Known!There is also an ebook version available of this title, it is for sale from Amazon or your usual provider. This book follows on from 'It Wasn't Me Sir' as Bernard Carter leaves school and tries to become an adult. With hilarious consequences. Being grown up is a real pain! He has to clean his teeth, wash daily and change his underpants more often. Get drunk, have sex, get married, become a student. Acquire a dipstick dog, a Lambretta, a death wish and

There is also an ebook version available of this title, it is for sale from Amazon or your usual provider. 

This book follows on from 'It Wasn't Me Sir' as Bernard Carter leaves school and tries to become an adult. With hilarious consequences. Being grown up is a real pain!

He has to clean his teeth, wash daily and change his underpants more often. Get drunk, have sex, get married, become a student. Acquire a ‘dipstick’ dog, a Lambretta, a death wish and a job with egg-bound scientists.

At work he is forced to buy cream cakes for people he does not like; he tries, and fails to get off with the tea girl, but he does have better success drinking, getting drunk and holding up the last bus to Heanor.

First-time sex was a disaster, not helped by a snuffling dog and a mean-spirited barber. He does get a wife and she gets Jumbo the canine equivalent of the village idiot! His aged father-in-law also gives him sex advice in an unintelligible dialect,

He also starts a caving club, gets stuck in a hole with a dysenteric dog; and sees pictures of his neighbour’s naked wife. These and many more stories will keep you entertained and laughing out loud.

About the Author

Born and educated in Derby, Bernard Carter left the area after gaining a Diploma in Creative Photography at the College of Art.

After a short, but successful career in photography he became a self-taught Botanical Artist and Illustrator and still exhibits on behalf of the Royal Horticultural Society as a Gold Medallist.

Bernard has moved constantly around the UK and is well travelled having a particular love for the remoter parts of Australia. He presently lives in Miller’s Dale, Derbyshire.

Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
  • Except Preorder products are shipped in 48 hours.
  • Delivery to the USA:
  1. Standard Shipping : 3-10 business days
  • If time is of the essence, please consider selecting expedited delivery for faster service.
Exchange/Return Notes
  • We offer a 30-day return/exchange service after receiving.
  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
  • To process your return/exchange, please contact us at [email protected]
  • Please click here for more details>>> Return & Exchange Policy
SKU: 3442768394

Discover Niche Categories That Outsell

Top-Converting Item to Boost Your Average Order

4.5 ★★★★★
Based on 1575 reviews
Sort
Highest Rating
Newest First
Oldest First
Product Reviews
R
Verified Purchase
R Powers
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
Shimmery, Fun, and Stays Put All Night!
Number of Items: 1
I bought the HANYWIL Body Glitter for a themed party, and it completely exceeded my expectations! The sparkle is gorgeous—rich, multidimensional, and not that flat kind of glitter you sometimes get. A little goes a long way, but it’s also buildable if you want that extra “wow” factor. What I loved most is how comfortable it felt on my skin—no scratchy feeling, and it didn’t flake off everywhere. It stayed put for hours, even with dancing and a little bit of sweat (yes, we were having that much fun). I also used a touch in my hairline, and it caught the light beautifully in photos. Cleanup was surprisingly easy—came off with regular makeup remover and a gentle wash, no stubborn sparkle residue the next day. If you want something that’s fun, easy to use, and actually looks high-quality in real life and in pictures, this is it. Definitely buying more colors for future events!
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2025
B
Verified Purchase
Brookelyn Benedetti
Fort Morgan, US
★★★★★ 3
Broke a bit fast but worked well for a little
Number of Items: 1
The sprayer on the can broke after a few uses unfortunately but the product is beautiful and works well as long as your sprayer doesn’t break like mine did.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2026
P
Verified Purchase
PAKOTE
Pawtucket, US
★★★★★ 5
Perfect and not too shiny when wearing
Number of Items: 2
Great buy for any age
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2026
P
Verified Purchase
pwc
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 5
So Glad I Got This!
Color: Silver
This really made my 50th anniversary party great! The glitter was very fine which is what you want. The spray atomizer really worked well! So glad I got it!
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2026
M
Verified Purchase
Matthew Jordan
Louisville, US
★★★★★ 5
Excellent quality
Color: Silver
So, I took my two young children to a special photography shoot and they used something similar, it holds great, is not overbearing and lasts a very long time
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2026

recommand products