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Description
Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived LifeA TRANSFORMATIVE BOOK ABOUT THE LIVES WE WISH WE HAD AND WHAT THEY CAN TEACH US ABOUT WHO WE ARE All of us lead two parallel lives: the one we are actively living, and the one we feel we should have had or might yet have. As hard as we try to exist in the moment, the unlived life is an inescapable presence, a shadow at our heels. And this itself can become the story of our lives: an elegy to unmet needs and sacrificed desires. We become haunted by the
A TRANSFORMATIVE BOOK ABOUT THE LIVES WE WISH WE HAD AND WHAT THEY CAN TEACH US ABOUT WHO WE ARE
All of us lead two parallel lives: the one we are actively living, and the one we feel we should have had or might yet have. As hard as we try to exist in the moment, the unlived life is an inescapable presence, a shadow at our heels. And this itself can become the story of our lives: an elegy to unmet needs and sacrificed desires. We become haunted by the myth of our own potential, of what we have in ourselves to be or to do. And this can make of our lives a perpetual game of falling short. But what happens if we remove the idea of failure from the equation? With his flair for graceful paradox, the acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips suggests that if we accept frustration as a way of outlining what we really want, satisfaction suddenly becomes possible. To crave a life without frustration is to crave a life without the potential to identify and accomplish our desires. In Missing Out, an elegant, compassionate, and absorbing book, Phillips draws deeply on his own clinical experience as well as on the works of Shakespeare and Freud, of D. W. Winnicott and William James, to suggest that frustration, not getting it, and getting away with it are all chapters in our unlived lives--and may be essential to the one fully lived.Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Picador USA
Published: 12/31/2013
ISBN: 9781250043511
Pages: 224
Weight: 0.43lbs
Size: 8.33h x 5.47w x 0.59d
Review Citations: New York Times Book Review 02/09/2014 pg. 28
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4.0 ★★★★★
Based on 545 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 4
Slow, sorry but good
Format: Kindle
This was a slow moving book. Lots of character pov chapters, lots of superfluous descriptions and endless courtly appearances stalled this book to start. Once you get into the heart of the story, it takes off. Before you know it the book is done. My favorite character is Reyna. She is so strong. She is true to herself. She gets into a lot of trouble with her headstrong ways but it's entertaining. I have high hopes for Lorcan. He is honorable to a fault. Thane had turned out to be better than I thought but i still don't like him. Eislin is useless. Great plot twists at the end. I'm looking forward too book 2.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 6, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Very detailed! Beautiful world building! Strong Heroine!
Format: Kindle
Starts off a little slow and confusing with different POV’s, but starts to all come together towards the middle to make an elaborate plot line and makes it all worth it. Beautiful world building and attention to detail as well as great writing. The cliffhanger was gut wrenching! Can’t wait for the next book!
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Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2020
★★★★★ 4
Interesting
Format: Kindle
This was a very captivating book once you got into it thoroughly. But the third person perspective was a bit hard to get used to. But as you got into it and followed the different characters, it was interesting and filled with intrigue, conflict and forbidden love.
I can’t wait to read the next one and to complete the series.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2022
★★★★★ 5
OUTSTANDING
Format: Kindle
This was very, very good. The world is vast and characters are complex. There is a good plot with a whole lot going on. This is well written. Good twists and turns and some heart breaking moments. You will love these characters, they have heart and loyalty. I am hoping that there will be several more books. We've yet to see anything from the Sea Court but only a mention of them here and there. The Wood Court was given a quick couple of scenes, and only as far as some warriors, we've yet to enter their court and the Shadow Court, I'm not sure if they will be a force for good or bad, but they definitely will play a much bigger role moving forward. This is primarily the Ice and Air Courts. Told in multiple views, which I loved, it gives you a chance to see things from different eyes. There's alot of political maneuvering and deception. I loved it and will pick up the next book as it becomes available. If you like The Fae and the courts, you should love this. I think the author has mucn in store for us.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2020
★★★★★ 4
Definitely worth the read!
Format: Kindle
After taking a deep breath and taking in that wicked twist of an ending, I have finally composed myself. My first thought when I started this book was that I love Reyna's character. I was intrigued by her connection with her familiar and the Ruin that is plaguing her land. It came as no surprise that she took her sister's place in an attempt to protect her. When they reach the Air Court everything slows down. This is where it was iffy for me. First of all, I like multiple POV's in books however 7 is a bit much. It starts to interrupt the story line. I felt like I was finally making progress connecting with one character, then it was switched to another person. I felt they all had necessary or pertinent information but not necessarily were they all POV worthy. The only other thing that annoyed me was that Reyna constantly was " trapped." She would rush off without thinking, only to need rescuing. She is brilliant in a fight, but she really doesn't think through anything. Lorcan is amazing. I know he might be on the "bad" list, but his background is so interesting. Eislyn(Reyna's sister) is really so sweet, but calculating. I enjoyed her and Thane's dialogue. The author did an amazing job with the imagery in this book. Everything was so detailed it was easy to fall into the scene. I love unexpected twists and while part of the ending I expected, I wasn't expecting how it took place. All in all, I found it very entertaining and I am very invested in continuing this series.
Favorite quotes:
"The truth may be twisted but never false."
"Who was she if she was not the enemy of the Air Court? What was her purpose of she no longer has that?"
"In a war-torn land, love was always a lie."
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Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2020